on losing it all the year i turned forty

what have i done to merit such loss?
what have i done that life doth exhaust?
what have i done for this love to flee?
what have i done that this way it should be?

what have i done that life from me hath been removed?
what have i done that my soul be not soothed?
what have i done that now my soul must be proved?
what have i done that hath not hearts so moved?

what can i do to, from this past, be set free?
what can i do to open eyes toward me to see?
what can i do to set right such pain?
so that something of such happens not again?

what shall i do, forth, from this day?
what shall i tell myself to say?
what shall i do to keep love at bay?
what shall i tell God when i pray?

what will i know, when all is lost, to be true?
what will i know when my heart turns so blue?
what will i know at dawn’s first hue?
what will i know, God, when i don’t know its you?

where shall i go, venturing forth from here?
where shall i dwell with a broken heart severe?
where shall i go that i may begin to adhere?
where shall i place the love i have had persevere?

now i lay me down to cry
i pray the Lord my soul not die
if i drift away to sleep
i pray Lord please, not too deep

for if i drift to sleep’s dark deep
i’ll need a hand to pull me stray
for in the dark of wanted sleep
lies no light to lead the way.

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